Aftermath of an Affair
by hopelesslyhalfhearted
Summary: An affair, buried feelings, old friends, new enemies, arguments...and love...yes, a lot of love
1. Chapter 1

Argument of an Affair

"Christmas will be awkward," She said absentmindedly as he played with her hair, twirling it around his fingers.

"But we'll get through it together,"

"Yep, we'll hold hands and show everyone our unity," She said sarcastically.

"I just...we can...we'll find a way to be together," They were both silent for a few minutes. He kissed her forehead occasionally, whilst continuing to play with her hair and sometimes run his thumb up and down her hand that held tightly onto his spare. He could tell she had something to say; something important. So he didn't rush her, he just gave her time.

"He...asked me to marry him," She said slowly, looking upwards into his eyes to see his reaction.

"I..." It was odd, how he felt so insanely jealous of her being around _him_ and how he felt so protective of her. But he was the one sneaking around with her. He was the one cheating, not _him_. What had started as a bit of fun, whilst her boyfriend was away on business and his girlfriend was visiting friends, had evolved into the most important thing in his life. And he couldn't even show it off to the world, he had to hide it. Hide it in hotel rooms at night and at snatched moments when they could be alone. "I guess...I mean..."

"It's ok...if you're...upset..."

"You guys have been dating a while...I guess...I mean it's normal...right?"

"But you've been dating the same amount of time and you haven't proposed..."

"He's not the boyfriend who's cheating with one of his girlfriend's best friends,"

"So...you haven't proposed because of...me?"

"You're naive enough to think this is still just a bit of stuff on the side for me?"

"No...I...part of me hopes it is...it'll make things a hell of a lot less complicated..."

"And the other part of you?"

"Hope...hopes it's more than just a thing...because...I...because...I...if you didn't feel like that it would be so much easier...because I could chose between you then...he loves me...and I...I...I love..." She stopped short, choking on her words.

"I love you." He said steadily, his voice not wavering. "I've never been surer of anything in my life,"

"I love you..." She said slowly. "But...I...I can't hurt him..."

"I don't want to hurt either of them..." He said softly. "But I promise you we'll work this out somehow...and I just...say no to him...please say no to him," He knew how unhappy this would make one of his best friends, but he didn't care. He wasn't in the mood to be selfless. He loved her. He couldn't just let her go.

"I...I..." He got off the sofa and knelt on the floor on one knee. "What are you...doing?"

"I'm asking you to marry me...if that's what it takes to stop you marrying him." He took a deep breath. "Marry me." She knelt down, her face the same level as his and cupped his face in her hands.

"No." She said quietly. "When we're both single I will say yes to you a million times over."

"And...now...to him...you'll say...?"

"I'm not sure yet,"

"How can you not be sure? I just told you I'd leave her for you...that I'd give up everything for you...I'll tell you again...I'll tell you a thousand times over...I just told you I loved you and you're not sure if you'll leave him?"

"It's not that simple!"

"We're in the same situation here! And I love you so much that I will put everything on the line...you're unable to, obviously you don't feel about me the way I feel about you..."

"MAYBE I'M JUST NOT BRAVE ENOUGH! I've known him since I was in diapers! I can't just break his heart like that!"

"Who's would you rather break...his or mine?"

"Don't be a jerk,"

"I'm fed up of meeting like this! I want to show you off to the world! I can't do that while you're with him,"

"Why don't you leave her before you start lecturing me about how easy it is?!"

"I'm not leaving her 3 days before Christmas..."

"And I'm not leaving him 3 days before Christmas."

"We should wait."

"Yeah."

"Sorry for shouting," He apologised, looking directly into her eyes.

"Me too."

"January?"

"January." She smiled before kissing him lightly; he deepened the kiss, forcing his tongue to clash with hers. "I've...only...got...thir...ty...min...utes," She said between kisses.

"We can be quick," He grinned before pushing her down flat on her back.

**I purposefully didn't mention any names...have a guess at who these naughty love birds are :)**

**So...my first Gossip Girl Fiction...I just thought I'd give it a go :)**

**Xoxo**

**Georgie **


	2. Chapter 2

Preparations

"NATE!" Serena called upstairs. "HURRY UP!"

"I'M JUST COMING!" He called back and soon afterward he was bounding down the stairs towards his girlfriend. "How do I look?" He said breathlessly.

"Good, now hurry up. They'll think we're not coming," They left the apartment they shared and she locked the door behind them. He was hopeless. "How come you were working so late, it's Christmas Eve," She asked as he hailed a cab and got in

"Just everything's really hectic. I mean Christmas is our busiest time of the year,"

"You're a stock broker..."

"Stocks are a popular present." He said quickly. "Anyways, it doesn't matter, I'm here now and we're going to have the best Christmas ever," Serena doubted that. She'd already shared her best Christmas ever with a different man...well; he was more a boy then. He'd still be starring in this Christmas...just in an unromantic role.

"I'm sure we will," She said happily. "I wonder who'll cook tomorrow,"

"I'm hoping Dan. He's the best,"

"V's pretty good too,"

"Unlike you?" Nate teased.

"You did not just..." He grinned before she began tickling him.

"Stop! STOP! PLEASE!" Nate shouted, though Serena continued. "WE'RE HERE!" She withdrew her hands and looked out the window. They had indeed arrived at their destination.

* * *

"When are Chuck and Blair getting here?" Vanessa turned her head away from her book as she spoke.

"Erm...they said like 8, depends on traffic,"

"Great," She said, before returning to her book.

"What you reading?" He asked as he stirred the sauce.

"Twilight,"

"Twilight? That was for teenage girls years ago...not for 20 something's now,"

"Hey! Just because I'm 25, doesn't mean I can't read them,"

"They're awfully written you know," He said matter-of-factly. "The plot is dreadful,"

"Just because you can only write depressing stuff,"

"Oi! I can write other stuff..."

"Name one book you've written that has a happy ending..." He was silent. "None!"

"That's because in real life people don't get happy endings,"

"What about us? Do we not get a happy ending?" She teased jokingly. His face turned serious.

"It depends," He said, barely above a whisper, but she heard.

"I told you I just need..."

"We need to talk about it,"

"After Christmas,"

****************

"We are going to be so late," Chuck sighed, glancing at his watch as he waited for his girlfriend...no fiancée as of yesterday...to be ready.

"It's not a party...there was no specific time!"

"Doesn't mean we can arrive at midnight!"

"It's only 8:30,"

"We were meant to be there at 8!" He moaned. "Let's just hurry up and get a cab," He wrapped is trademark scarf around his neck and locked the pent house door behind them. It had begun to snow and it was just settling on the ground. I took a while to get a cab; it was Christmas Eve after all.

"So, do you think you could show me my Christmas present tonight?" Chuck breathed seductively into Blair's ear.

"Not tonight," She said bluntly, pushing him away. It wasn't like her. But it just felt so wrong being with him. It felt wrong that she couldn't tell him.

"So...not a Christmas present...how about as an engagement present?"

"I'm not having sex." She said curtly, before turning to look out the window.

**Well now you know the 'official' couples, any new guesses as to who the sneaky couple are?**

**Xoxo**

**Georgie**


	3. Chapter 3

Washing Up Words

"Where's your family this year?" Chuck asked as he dug into the spaghetti Dan had prepared.

"He's told us a million times," Blair moaned.

"Maybe I wasn't listening," Chuck said curtly, offended by Blair's previous behaviour in the cab.

"Maybe you should do in future," She spoke just as bitterly as he had done. Dan looked at Serena, searching for a reason for their behaviour, she just shrugged.

"Chuck, my Mom's at some art show and my Dad's touring with the band," Dan said, quickly trying to cool the situation. "Jenny's with her boyfriend's family,"

"How come your parents have to work on Christmas?" Chuck asked, perplexed...Rufus was such a family man.

"God, you're such an idiot," Blair muttered.

"Chuck, do you...just zone out?" Serena asked.

"And think about sex," Blair muttered bitterly.

"Maybe if I got some I might not be so..."

"Chuck. We're eating. And as much as I'd love to hear about you're sex life, I'd prefer to keep my food down." Dan said uncomfortably.

"Wouldn't we all," Nate added. Vanessa squealed.

"V, you ok?" Dan asked concerned.

"Yeah...just...stubbed my toe on the table leg," Nate laughed quietly and luckily nobody noticed.

"I reckon we should make New Year plans," Serena said. "I mean, it's only 7 days away," Chuck and Blair were glaring at each other, Dan was staring at Vanessa, not totally convinced about the stubbing her toe story, Vanessa stared at her feet and Nate stared at Serena. Nobody answered Serena's suggestion. "Is anyone actually hearing me?" Still no answer. "GUYS!"

"Huh?"

"What?" Everyone was now listening.

"I said...we should make New Year's plans,"

"Yeah," Blair said. "I heard of some good parties we can go to. We should be a few and go to all of them, but then pick the best and go back to it for midnight,"

"Jenny's over at New Year's, I think me and V will just stay in with her and Jake,"

"No, let's go to the party," Vanessa insisted. "It'll be fun,"

"But we've stayed in every year,"

"Exactly! It's boring,"

"What?"

"Jenny can come with us or she can just stay in with Jake...I'm sure they'll entertain each other,"

"I'm going to wash up," Dan got up from the table, unimpressed with Vanessa. He collected in all the dishes and went into the kitchen.

"Give me a second," Vanessa said, before following him. "Dan? Why are you in such a mood, it's just New Year's. I mean, it's not even definite,"

"It's not just New Year's," Dan didn't look up from the washing.

"For god's sake, can we not talk about this now? They can probably hear us," She was right, the other 4 could hear every word, crystal clear.

"I don't care," Dan turned around and stared into her eyes. "I want to know why."

"Why what?"

"Why you can't answer."

"Because...Dan, NOT NOW!" She tugged at her hair.

"WHEN THEN? I want to know, V. We've been dating for nearly 6 years! By that time usually more than just one half of a couple is thinking about it,"

"I've never been that kinda person,"

"YES YOU HAVE! YOU ALWAYS HAVE! When we were little you'd sneak your Mom's wedding dress and insist I pretended to be groom! You always talked to me about how the perfect guy would propose! I did that! I REMEMBERED EVERY WORD YOU SAID AND I DID IT JUST LIKE YOU WANTED! BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!" He sighed heavily. "Maybe you've never been that kinda person...with me," His face seemed to screw up a bit, as if it was causing him great pain to say it.

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"No...of course not..." He said quickly. "I just...I have to know...it's driving me crazy...please...just tell me what you could possibly have to think about," Everything she thought. Him.

"It's...it's my whole life...I...you got to think about it before you asked, whereas I have to answer there and then...you got to prepare for it,"

"What? 6 years of dating isn't enough preparation? We _live _together, for god's sake. I've known you all my life...I don't see how much more preparation you can have,"

"Maybe we're just not meant to get married..."

"Maybe not..." Dan looked at the ground. "I love you," He said, barely above a whisper.

"I know," And in that moment he also knew something. Normally people would have said I love you too...but she didn't. He knew then she didn't feel the way he felt about him.

"I..." He didn't say what he was thinking. He avoided it. Somehow it felt better. If he didn't mention it they wouldn't have to deal with it. "Go back. I'll finish up in here,"

"I'm sorry, Dan, I'm so sorry," She was confused. Had they broken up? Were they together? Was he angry at her? Was she doing the right thing? The wrong thing?

"Just...we can talk after Christmas, ok?" That was another event to add to her January to do list...1, talk about marriage...2, leave Dan for another man. January was not going to be her favourite month.

**So...now we know one half of the lovers...V...**

**But Blair was acting weird as well...what's going on with her?**

**And the guy? Wait till next chapter...**

**Xoxo**

**Georgie**

**(these A/N aren't meant to sound like Gossip Girl...and the whole xoxo thing, I did that before I'd even heard of Gossip Girl... :D)**


	4. Chapter 4

Shattered

"I'll be right back," Vanessa said before retreating into her bedroom. The remaining 4 looked at each other.

"This is...awkward," Serena stated. Just like she had said, he thought. Though it wasn't quite the awkwardness he had expected.

"Should...we...talk to them?" Blair suggested.

"Which one?"

"I didn't know they were having problems. Did any of you?"

"No," They all replied.

"I'll go see Vanessa," Nate offered, standing up from the table.

"Yeah, she's probably closest to you out of all of us," Serena said truthfully, not knowing quite how 'close' they really were. Nate went into the bedroom whilst Blair, Chuck and Serena went into the kitchen.

"Daniel," Chuck began. "Care to explain?"

"After Christmas," Dan didn't turn from the sink.

"There's no point putting it off, Cabbage Patch," Blair said.

"Right," Dan turned around. "If it's so easy, why don't you tell us what's with your strange behaviour, huh?" Both Blair and Chuck remained silent. "See...take your own advice before you dish it out to me,"

"Dan," Serena asked. "What happened?"

"It doesn't matter." Dan dried his hands. "Where's V?"

"She went into the bedroom; Nate's talking to her,"

"I should go apologise,"

"What for?"

"I just...I should," Dan said, before leaving to go to the bedroom. The other 3 followed him. He didn't bother knocking. He hoped she wouldn't care. He stopped and just stared. His feet wouldn't move. He wanted to move. He wanted to shout. He wanted to punch him. He wanted to tell her to get out. To go away. To never see him again. But he couldn't. It was like his mind wasn't attached to his body.

"Serena," Nate stood up from the bed and walked towards her. "I..."

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Serena shouted. "YOU'RE SICK!"

"Serena, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry,"

"YOU CHEATER!"

"You...you did exactly the same thing with Carter,"

"HOW DARE YOU!?" Tears flooded out of her eyes. "I'M NOT GUILTY! I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU TURN THINGS AROUND! YOU...YOU..."

"We were going to wait until after Christmas. But...I..." They stood in silence, everyone unsure what to say.

"Dan...say something," Vanessa pleaded.

"What am I meant to say?"

"Anything...I'm so sorry." Vanessa was crying too.

"For doing it or for getting caught?"

"I...I love him..." She said. "I...we were going to tell both of you," She looked at Serena, who now stood glaring at Nate, whilst Blair had an arm around her. "After Christmas..."

"Because it hurts so much less being dumped when it's not the festive season," Dan said sarcastically.

"Dan...I didn't want it to be like this...I...I didn't want to hurt you this much..."

"Hurt me?" Dan scoffed. "You already hurt me when you said you had to think about my proposal...think about? Come on, what happily after couples have had to think about their answer? At least I know why now."

"Dan...I'm sorry mate," Nate said.

"Mate? You think we're mates still? I really, really want to hit you right now," Dan clenched his fist. "And I really, really," He looked at Vanessa. "Want to shout at you." He breathed deeply, trying to stay calm.

"I..." Vanessa didn't know what to say. "I'm...so sorry,"

"How long?" Dan asked.

"It doesn't matter,"

"I want to know how long,"

"2 years." Serena sobbed into Blair's shoulder.

"Did you ever think I was the one...?"

"I...I...when you started liking me as...as more than a friend...I had stopped feeling that way about you...but by then Nate liked Serena and...I...you, one guy, had chosen me over Serena...that was more than I expected...I wasn't naive enough to think that anyone else ever would..."

"But he has done. He's chosen you over me," Serena said, her words laced with venom. "Does that give you a sense of achievement? You've got two guys to love you more than they did van der Woodsen. Maybe we should give you an award,"

"Serena...I didn't mean it like that,"

"I'm...going on the roof. I'll be down in an hour and you will be gone and I will never see either of you again," Dan turned and Vanessa grabbed his arm.

"We've been friends forever...we can't leave it like this,"

"What did you expect me to do?!" Dan raised his voice for the first time. "Congratulate you on finally finding the right guy?! You chose this, not me!"

"Dan..." Nate began. Dan finally lost control and punched him in the stomach. He knelt on the floor, reeling in pain.

"If you _ever _hurt her I will break you. If you ever come near me ever again I will break you. If I hear your voice ever again I will make sure you won't be able to speak. Fuck giving you an hour. Get out now." Nate didn't move. Dan grabbed his collar and pulled him up. "Get out." He said though gritted teeth. "Vanessa, come back for your stuff when I'm not here."

"Serena...we need to talk...I..." Nate reached a hand out to place on Serena's shoulder, but Blair pushed him away.

"Can't you see that she doesn't want you anywhere near her?" Blair said viciously.

"Nathaniel, get out," Chuck said.

"Chuck...come on, we're best mates...you..."

"Not anymore. Don't make me call the cops,"

"Serena...I'll...call you," Nate said before leaving.

"Dan...I..." His eyes were staring at the floor so intently; it was as if he were trying to see through it. "Please look at me." She reached her hand out to pull his head up.

"I can't." Dan said simply.

"Goodbye," He could hear her sobs. All he wanted to do was hug her, tell her it was going to be ok. But it wasn't, he knew it wasn't going to be ok. They would never be ok. They could never be friends again. He should hate her...he couldn't...he couldn't bring himself to hate her. The door banged shut, signally their departure.

"Dan..." Chuck looked at his best friend.

"I've gotta do something." Dan left the room and frantically dashed about the apartment, picking up photo frames as he went.

"Dan...what are you doing?" He didn't reply to Chuck's question. Blair had sat Serena on the sofa and was making her a cup of tea. "Just stop it!" Chuck shouted. Dan looked at him, eyes red and bloodshot. He walked over to the window, opened it and dropped them all out, glass **shattered** on the pavement below. "What the hell?" Chuck said, staring at his friend.

"I just..."

"You know..." Chuck began cautiously. "I know a fool proof remedy for a broken heart,"

"What?"

"Victrola...I'll come with you...of course with Blair's permission and..."

"Chuck." Dan replied quietly. "I'm going for a walk,"

"Want some company?" Chuck said hopefully, unwilling to let Dan be alone in his current mood.

"No," Dan grabbed a coat from the stand and left, shutting the door carefully behind him.

"Serena...Victrola?" Chuck said. Blair shot a death glare at him. "It was a joke...a joke...lightening the mood...I'm getting more coffee," He said before quickly rushing into the kitchen.

**So, my characterisation might not be quite right...it is my first Gossip Girl and I'm used to writing for OC.**

**Next chapter? No idea. Rough times at the moment. We'll see how things go.**

**Xoxo**

**Georgie**


End file.
